My Not So Fairytale Love Life

I've always dreamed of one day becoming some incredible lucky guy's wife. I would imagine walking down the isle in an all white dress with a vial and tiara swifting towards the love of my life. I tried putting my crush face in the picture of the groom... so dreamy. I release anticipation as we speak only because I did not know it would happen at the age of 24. I felt it was time, after college I soon expected my first son. He was conceived before graduation, leaving me without my cap and gown; it seemed like all my dreams were flushed away. I never sat and thought if marriage was a fairy tale or if i just wanted to be in love forever. I just can feel it was soon to happen.

After my son was born, my Grandma would always ask if I would ever marry and I had always replied, "Of course"! She'd say not to your son's father I know! My response was the same, "No ma'am. It was something about him I could not grasp and I realize today it was a lack of communication. I hated explaining myself to him for things I was accused of in our relationship. I said to myself, this isn't love. If I love him I wouldn't hurt the relationship. He wasn't the one. It didn't feel secure. During a bad breakup, which was our last of many we had, I was tired and I cried. I prayed and called out to heaven begging for God to send me the husband of my dreams.

A few months after many depression episodes I began to feel a breakthrough.

I started going back to work. I also did the thing I shouldn't have which was reunite with my sons father. It didn't feel the same anymore and I wanted him gone. So he left and played my heart too. I wanted so bad for it to work but it ended.

One month went by and I started to see this guy I haven't been seeing around. He seemed weird. I wanted no contact at first, but when he opened his mouth he said the sweetest words I had ever heard in the most calming way. He said "Hi, I'm Terrance, nice to meet you." I had not heard such a professional greeting since I can remember, it was so sincere. I replied, "Hi Terrance, I have never seen you around." He said he had just got back from Iraq! My eyes grew, "Wow you're in the military? You must be so brave?" "Something like that," he replied with a grin. I went inside thinking of his eyes so sparkly and they caught mines but I managed to cut him off. I mean, he is still a stranger but there is something about his nature that was soothing. I know I'm drifting off into memory lane. Moral of the story is it takes patience, passion, and bravery to have a great marriage and a solid foundation. I seen these four traits at first sight.

I can honestly say that Terrance is my soulmate. It's not easy but it's worth fighting for. He wasn't anything like the guys I recently dated. He was preserved and mature! He is what I need and I love him. When I was a little girl, I helped nurture my siblings, it's the same with your children and marriage. You must comfort and give each other love beyond the human understanding. We've laughed together, cried, and been there for each other every step of the way. Everyday the sun doesn't always shine, sometimes it rains. Just like we enjoy the pleasure we have to stand the pain. We must learn to endure being husband and wife so we can endure being mom and dad. It all has its ups, downs, changes, and turn around, but where you stand as a family during and after is most important.

I went through those changes with my ex to be better for my next relationship, a marriage so beautiful, secure, and safe. We made it over the threshold. We have three beautiful children and a solid foundation. God is ahead of it all and its pure harmony. Each one teach one. We must teach others how to overcome hard times and tough situations we face daily. Prayer is the best answer for any problem or no problem at all.

Proverbs 3:6, "In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct thy paths."

Blessings to you all!